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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29746326">Cigarette That Burns Forever</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/lupinscardigan/pseuds/lupinscardigan'>lupinscardigan</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe, Artist Sirius Black, Band Fic, M/M, Marauders, Musician Remus Lupin, POV Remus Lupin, Pining, Sirius Black Speaks French, Slow Burn, Strangers to Lovers</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-04-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 22:01:20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>8,602</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29746326</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/lupinscardigan/pseuds/lupinscardigan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Remus is a literature student and aspiring bassist.<br/>Lily convinces him to join her new band where he meets Sirius, the eccentric frontman.<br/>Slowly, Remus will open himself up to new experiences and will eventually fall in love with Sirius Black.</p><p> </p><p>Basically them being in a dumb, punk-ish, very gay band. With terrible lyrics. And loads of glitter.<br/>Named after Adam Green's song Cigarette Burns Forever, covered by Drowners.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Marlene McKinnon/Dorcas Meadowes, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>25</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. The proposal</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Remus absentmindedly tapped his fingers along to the soft jazz playing from his speakers, thinking hard. He’d been working on this essay for maybe a bit too long now, but he was determined to do a proper job with it. He rubbed his eyes and looked at his computer screen, reading his words.</p><p>“There has to be something else” He muttered to himself, picking up the battered copy of King Lear and passing the pages, looking for the storm scene. He was sure there had to be something he was missing; it all <em>changed</em> in the storm scene, why there, why <em>the storm?</em></p><p>He then heard the tell-tale sound of keys and the front door opened.</p><p>“Hey Re!” Lily said, letting herself in and closing the door behind her, “Working hard?”</p><p>Remus grunted, realising then that it had gotten dark, and the only light on was the small one he’d been using in the tiny desk, next to his computer and various notebooks. Lily then turned the switch on, and the room lit up.</p><p>“How long have you been working for?”</p><p>“Ugh, I don’t even <em>know</em> by now.” He answered, running a hand though his hair, “I need a break. I think I need a break. Do I need a break?”</p><p>Lily gave an amused laugh at this, sitting next to him and closing the computer screen carefully. “You definitely need a break.”</p><p>Remus let out a breath and leaned back on the sofa, closing his eyes. He would finish tomorrow; a little rest overnight might help enlighten his mind.</p><p>“Come on, I’m making dinner. James is coming over tonight, that okay with you?” Lily asked, getting up and walking over to the kitchen.</p><p>“Of course.” He started to tidy up the table from his notes and computer, “What are we cooking?”</p><p>He got up, after shifting all his stuff to a corner of the table and taking his speaker and phone, and followed Lily to their narrow kitchen. They’d been sharing the small flat together for two years now, and Remus couldn’t have asked for a better flatmate. They met at uni, back in their first year. Both studying English Literature and with a shared love for music, they quickly became great friends, and by second year they decided to leave their expensive halls of residence and move in together in their tiny flat in Shepherd’s Bush. Remus loved living with Lily, he considered her his best friend by now, and they got along extremely well, never really fighting about anything and enjoying each other’s company.</p><p>He sat up in the counter and connected his phone to the speaker, looking though his playlists and choosing songs to add to the queue.</p><p>“I thought we could make some noodles?” Lily said, looking inside the fridge and taking out ingredients.</p><p>“Mmm sounds great.” Remus answered absentmindedly shuffling though the songs. He settled on <em>Lost in the Supermarket</em> by The Clash; it fitted his mood. “This good?” He asked turning the volume up a bit.</p><p>“Perfect.” Lily smiled up at him as she passed him the cutting board, a knife and a zucchini. “Cut half of that in julienne, will you?”</p><p>“Sure.” He put the cutting board in his lap and stared cutting easily, humming along to the song playing in the background. Lily went to stand next to him, and started cutting up the chicken facing the counter.</p><p>“Oh Remus!” She said, and Remus looked down at her. “Um, me and Sirius decided a few days ago that we’re starting a band.”</p><p>Remus smirked at her, amused. “Oh?”</p><p>“Yeah, we got caught up talking about glam rock and punk and drag,” She laughed. “And decided we need to start a dumb, punk-ish, very gay band. With terrible lyrics. And loads of glitter.”</p><p>“What does Sirius play?”</p><p>“Oh, he’s the frontman.” Lily replied with an amused grin.</p><p>“Of course he is.” Remus laughed.</p><p>“The thing is…” Lily started; “Sirius’ friend Dorcas is gonna play drums but… we’re kind of missing a bassist?” She finished with a hopeful smile.</p><p>“Oh.”</p><p>“I understand you’ve already got your band but… well, Re, we need you! I honestly don’t think we can find a better and cooler bassist, and you’d get along so well with Sirius! I just… <em>Please</em> Re, we need you.” Lily stared at him. “Do it for me?”</p><p>Remus smiled at himself. He’d never thought about being in another band, but then again, if he really wanted to go serious with music, he’d had to work with other people apart from Dark Forest, apart from Greyback.</p><p>He looked at Lily’s pleading eyes,</p><p>“Okay, okay!” He laughed raising his hands in surrender, “We’ll see okay? Sounds good to me, heaven knows I could do with more practice.”</p><p>“Yes!” Lily shouted and bent awkwardly over the counter and Remus’ legs to wrap her arms around his shoulders, “Oh my God Remus, it’s gonna be so fun, I’m finally gonna be in a punk band! Do you know how <em>excited</em> fifteen-year-old wannabe punk me would be?”</p><p>Remus laughed and affectionately ruffled Lily’s long ginger hair, “Alright, alright, <em>Rockstar</em>, clam down!”</p><p>Lily shoved him and went back to cutting the chicken.</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p> </p><p>“Lupin!” James put an arm around his shoulders, shaking him in an affectionate manner.</p><p>“Hey James, all’s fine?” He asked stirring the noodles.</p><p>“Knackered from training, but great.” He answered smiling broadly. James was a rugby player for London Irish, and he was finishing his last year of his sports degree while being in his rookie year for this big well-known team. Remus didn’t <em>know</em>, nor could he understand how he managed to do it all.</p><p>“You mate? Busy with uni I guess, Lily keeps telling me she can’t meet because she’s got <em>essays to write<em><em>. </em></em></em>I swear I don’t understand how they make you write so much stuff.”</p><p>“Well, we’re studying literature, aren’t we?” He answered with a smirk.</p><p>“Fair point, Lupin, fair point.”</p><p>James and Lily had been together since they were seventeen and they were The Perfect Couple. They’d met in Clevedon, Lily’s hometown, where James’ family had their second home in which they spent the holidays. They’d seen each other around during summers since they were eleven, and James had always been dumfounded by Lily, but it wasn’t until they were sixteen that they properly met. Lily had been working as a summer camp counsellor in the local scouts, and James was the rugby instructor, so they inevitably had to spend lots of time together watching the kids mess around. Lily found herself rather enjoying James’ company and he was completely mesmerized by the phenomenal person that is Lily Evans. Another year rolled by and the next summer they started spending lots of time together after the activities, and they eventually fell in love with each other.</p><p>“James, love, pass me the bowls, will you?” Lily asked turning off the stove. “Re, get the chopsticks.”</p><p>They quickly served the dishes and gathered around the small table in the living room, eating the noodles that turned out properly tasty, even with the quick cooking.</p><p>“Oh, James! I got Remus to join the band!” Lily said excitedly over a mouthful of noodles.</p><p>“I said I’ll think about it.” Remus raised an eyebrow at her, but it was no use;</p><p>“Hell yes! That’s bloody brilliant!” James grinned at him, “Have you told Sirius yet?”</p><p>“I haven’t actually! We should call him later, he’ll be thrilled.” Lily answered brightly.</p><p>“Lily I-”</p><p>“Remus, you should come tomorrow! Sirius’ artistic friends are coming over to create or whatever, and they’re staying for dinner and maybe a few drinks,” James explained hurriedly, “You should come and you can <em>finally</em> meet Sirius and Peter and, well, sure, the entire band!”</p><p>“That’s a good idea, actually!” Lily piped in.</p><p>“Just come hang around in the flat, meet everyone, have a few beers, Pete will cook something delicious, and talk about the band and music and all that stuff.” James smiled widely.</p><p>James lived in a flat (propriety of his parents from what Lily had told him) with his <em>“Long-life best friends/brothers” </em>as James called them; Sirius and Peter. The three met in a posh boarding school in Scotland when they were eleven and had been inseparable since, resulting in them moving in together in London as soon as they left school. Remus had heard everything about them during his three-year friendship with Lily, but he’d never met them, even if invited plenty of times to their apartment; he had often been busy and didn’t want to intrude in their friend group.</p><p>This, however, was different. He actually was quite looking forward to meeting the boys by now; having heard plenty of stories, he kind of felt like he already knew them in a way. Plus, if he was to start a band with them, he’d like to meet the people in it, and know what he was getting himself into.</p><p>“Yeah, go on, I’ll come. Cheers mate.” Remus smiled.</p><p>James and Lily cheered enthusiastically,</p><p>“He’s gonna meet Sirius!”</p><p>“You’re gonna meet Sirius!”</p><p>“I’m gonna meet Sirius.”</p><p>They all laughed a bit more and Lily decided they needed some wine to celebrate.</p><p>She came back with a halfway wine bottle they’d kept on the fridge and instructed them to finish their glass, immediately filling them with the rich thick liquid.</p><p>“To Remus and I becoming Rockstars!” Lily said raising her glass.</p><p>Remus hid his face in his hands and groaned, but raised his glass and toasted with them, taking a drink of the acceptable wine.</p><p>“I’m actually quite looking forward to meeting Sirius. And Peter.” Remus confessed with a smile, “Heard so much about them it feels like finally meeting celebrities.”</p><p>James cackled at this, “Well, Remus, I assure you they might feel the same way, Lily’s always talking about you.”</p><p>Remus felt a pang of love towards his best friend at this.</p><p>“Oh my God, James!” Lily faked bashfulness and Remus snorted at her exaggerated acting.</p><p>“Anyway,” James said leaning back on his chair and pushing his glasses up, “They’ll love you mate, and you’ll love them; they’re the coolest blokes ever. Just don’t get Sirius started about <em>art,</em> I swear to God he never shuts up.”</p><p>“Oh, you big drama queen, it’s not that bad at all, as if <em>you</em> ever shut up about rugby.” Lily said, punching his boyfriend’s arm.</p><p>“Oi!”</p><p>Remus smiled to himself and finished his glass of wine, not even bothering to think what on <em>earth </em>he was getting himself into.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>So I'm in a silly-kinda-punk band and one day this idea came to my mind, so here we are now!<br/>Hope you guys enjoy it! &lt;3</p><p> </p><p>Also, I made a playlist for this fic where I'll be adding all the songs mentioned in the chapters, here's the link:<br/>https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0JDC61RDPVhdOmIidefpPs?si=1oszcOIvR4O4XaLCr0mrVg<br/>Oh and find me on twitter and tumblr by the same username!!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Sapphire blue and handmade ashtrays</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Remus meets Sirius (and the band).</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>James, Sirius and Peter lived in Hackney, in an apartment block that looked quite modern and nothing Remus and Lily could afford. Lily took her own pair of keys and opened the block’s door; they entered and took the elevator to the attic. Once the elevator had reached the floor, the doors opened and Remus found himself fidgeting nervously, clutching the beer pack they’d brought tightly to his chest.</p><p>“Hey,” Lily said looking up at him, “Don’t worry, they’ll love you.”</p><p>Remus smiled at her thankfully and next thing he knew Lily was opening the front door and easing Remus inside.</p><p>“Heyheyhey!” She shouted into the flat,</p><p>Remus stood open-mouthed looking into their apartment. It was nothing like Lily’s and Remus’ small, functional flat- It was spacious and beautifully decorated; with the living room’s walls painted a beautiful shade of sapphire blue and decorated with extravagant, colourful paintings.</p><p>“Lils!” James’ head poked out of a doorframe. “Oh true! Remus mate!” James added the second his eyes fell on Remus’. He came along to embrace him with a hug, pecking Lily’s lips next.</p><p>“Hey James.” Remus smiled at the boy’s warmness.</p><p>“We brought some beers!” Lily said, gesturing to the pack sitting in Remus’ arms.</p><p>“Life saver, thanks!” James grinned, “Here, I’ll take them to the kitchen. Make yourselves comfortable, those have already started.” He added, nodding to a group of people gathered around a coffee table in the living room. Some were sitting on the floor, some on the sofa. The table was covered with a few notebooks and pens, quite a big amount of beer bottles and cans, packs of cigarettes, and a couple of ceramic colourful ashtrays that looked handmade.</p><p>Lily took off her jacket and rucksack and hung them in the coat rack, Remus followed and did the same. There was some music sounding softly, something with a good beat, and the group was chatting animatedly, with exaggerated movements and laughing loudly.</p><p>“Hey, didn’t see you there Prongslette!” A guy called out, getting up from his place in the sofa, and jumping over a couple of people before coming over to them and enveloping Lily in a warm hug.</p><p>He was shorter than Remus and had beautiful long black wavy hair that fell past his shoulders, some of it tied up in a knot with a pencil at the top of his head.</p><p>“Hi Sirius.” Lily smiled, hugging him.</p><p>Oh. <em>Oh.</em> So <em>this </em>was Sirius. Remus felt a blush creep up his neck. He’d seen pictures of Sirius before, sure, maybe a couple of times, of him in school with James and Peter, or him drunk in a party with Lily and James, but that was nothing compared to the bloke standing right in front of Remus. He wore an old, holed, faded black t-shirt and black skinny jeans, along with a pair of pink, very fluffy-looking socks. And he was totally rocking it.</p><p>Sirius’ eyes fell on his, and Remus felt his heart skip a bit. He had beautiful grey eyes that were surrounded by slightly smudged eyeliner. He noticed he had a single earring hanging from his left ear. It looked like a very tiny sculpture; a twisted wire, creating a beautiful shape, with small gemstones around it.</p><p>“Oh, Sirius…” Lily said smugly, “This is <em>Remus.</em>”</p><p>Sirius’ eyes widened.</p><p>“Oh.” He said, “<em>Merde.</em>” Remus saw his cheeks blush slightly, “Um- well, hi!” He added with a small wave, and then looked at Lily again, “Woah, <em>Remus </em>?”</p><p>Lily was cackling with laughter and Remus couldn’t help but let out a chuckle at Sirius’ reaction.</p><p>“Why didn’t you tell me <em>Remus</em> was coming today?” Sirius complained at an out of breath Lily.</p><p>“Hey Pads, I see you’ve met Remus.” James added, coming up towards them with a smirk.</p><p>“Why didn’t you <em>tell </em>me?” Sirius complained again and punched James in the arm.</p><p>“Ow!”</p><p>“Deserved!” Sirius said and then looked at Remus again, “Well, sorry, that was weird,” He added with a slightly bashful smile.</p><p>Remus laughed lightly, “It’s okay. It’s nice finally meeting you.”</p><p>“Yeah, sure is! Heard everything about you!”</p><p>“Not <em>everything.</em>” Lily added, smirking again,</p><p>“Oh, come on, Evans! It’s just an expre-”</p><p>Lily cut him off with a shake of her head, “<em>For example,</em> you don’t know he’s joining our band.”</p><p>“<em>Quoi? </em>” Sirius stared at her and then at Remus in disbelief, “Do you ever tell me <em>anything? </em>”</p><p>Lily laughed and then Sirius engulfed Remus in a tight hug. “That’s amazing! Woah, thanks mate!”</p><p>Remus laughed, a bit shocked at Sirius’ looseness and then felt himself being dragged towards the group.</p><p>“Dorcas!” Sirius called, getting everyone’s attention, “Meet Remus, our new bassist!”</p><p>A girl with a beautiful blonde afro and kind eyes drew her hands to her mouth.</p><p>“Oh!” She smiled, “Welcome, then!”</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p> </p><p>Remus and Lily joined the group and got though the introductions. There was Dorcas, their drummer, who was studying percussion at the Royal College of Music, which Remus found extremely interesting, and made a mental note to ask her about later. Then there was Marlene, Sirius’ best friend from uni. They both went at the Royal Central School of Speech and Drama; Marlene studying design for performance, and Sirius performance arts, so they shared a lot of classes together. And finally, Gid and Fab, two redhead twins who were completely different; Gid was a contemporary dance graduate and Fab was doing his master’s degree in some type of engineering,</p><p>“So I’m not really helping that lot, just watching.” He’d said, to what Remus furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.</p><p>“We’re creating.” Marlene explained catching Remus’ look, “This was supposed to be a meeting.” She added and chuckled as she took a long gulp of her beer.</p><p>“Sirius is making this adaptation of Titus Andronicus.”</p><p>Remus’ eyebrows shot up at this,</p><p>“Are you?” He asked Sirius.</p><p>He smiled proudly and nodded, “A physical theatre version of it. No text, just dancing. …And acting, and music, and many other things, really.”</p><p>“Like…” Remus hesitated, “Like Pina Bausch kinda?”</p><p>Sirius looked positively surprised, “Yeah! You know her?”</p><p>“Saw her documentary twice,” Remus replied timidly, “’Twas quite impressive.”</p><p>They quickly got into an engaging conversation about Sirius’ adaptation and Titus Andronicus and Shakespeare. Sirius explained his idea in detail with the help of Marlene, and Remus asked about how they were planning to adapt some things, bringing them to discussions about the characters’ portrayals and the message of the play.</p><p>“Damn Lupin,” Sirius said over a drag of his cigarette, “I’m gonna need you in my team.”</p><p>“Well, you’ve already got me on your band.” He replied cheekily.</p><p>Sirius laughed loudly and elbowed him in the ribs softly, then leaned in towards the table to shake off the ash into the ashtray.</p><p>Remus hesitated, looking at the small colourful plates, “Are these…” He cleared his throat, “Did you make these?”</p><p>Sirius looked up at him with a small smile.</p><p>“The ashtrays?” He asked pointing at them. Remus nodded.</p><p>“Yeah, I did, actually.” He picked the one closer to him up, and run his fingers through the painted patterns.</p><p>“They’re beautiful.” Remus said softly, “I like them.”</p><p>Sirius smiled up at him, in a very soft and sincere way that made Remus’ heart flutter. He wanted to see more of that smile.</p><p>“The paintings too?”</p><p>Sirius stared at him for a second and then shook his head, “Hm?”</p><p>“The paintings.” Remus repeated gently, “They yours?”</p><p>“Oh. Yeah, those too.”</p><p>“I like them too.” Remus smiled. “They’re colourful.”</p><p>“Bright, ouais.”</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p> </p><p>Eventually Gid and Fab left and Peter got home from work. <em>“Pete for the 500th time, you can’t call walking dogs a job”,</em> Sirius had said. He was a pretty short guy, (very, compared to Remus) and it was pretty hilarious watching James ruffling his hair, caught in a headlock. Peter was studying informatics and was actually pretty passionate about it, but the boys kept saying he had to give it up to become a chef. He cooked them a risotto while they sobered up a little from all the beers, talking about the band.</p><p>“Okay so the thing is,” Lily said drunkenly, “We <em>need </em>to be punk. Maybe not 100% punk, but punk.”</p><p>“Punk in the spirit, yes.” Sirius said very seriously.</p><p>“So, the concept is: punk but make it lame.” Remus declared.</p><p>“That’s it.” Sirius pointed at him. “That’s fucking it.”</p><p>“Punk meets Glam rock, meets shitty lyrics, meets the LGBT community.” Marlene said concentrating very hard on what she was saying.</p><p>They all burst into laughter and after that, they decided they were meeting next Saturday at Dorcas’, who lived at Elstree and had a basement with a full drumkit and enough space to have six persons (James and Marlene had already declared themselves the groupies of the band) plus all the instruments and gear inside.</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p> </p><p>Dinner was amazing in both the company and the food. <em>“Pete, you really should consider becoming a cheff”,</em> Remus had agreed, between a mouthful of perfectly cooked risotto. The three boys explained their stories from school, how they self-proclaimed themselves 'The Marauders' and got their nicknames: Prongs for James, Padfoot for Sirius, and Wormtail for Peter. Remus was suprised to realise he was enjoying himself a lot with these people, and he was very at ease, feeling extraordinarily comfortable. He was glad he came and he wondered if it would be like this in the band; if rehearsals could be fun and creative instead of dark and demanding. He thought of Greyback and shook it off; no time for that now.</p><p>“Right, um, I should be leaving about now guys, or the tube will close and I don’t really fancy a double bus.” Remus said later on, running a hand though his hair.</p><p>“Oh, but don’t leave Remus!” James, who was now positively pissed, said.</p><p>“Sorry Prongs, got to.” He smiled, ruffling the other boy’s messy hair.</p><p>“He called me Prongs!” James exclaimed, “Pads, he’s now officially one of us.”</p><p>“Yeah, yeah…” Sirius shook him off affectionately and turned to Remus, “Listen, you sure you okay going home now? You and Lils live quite far away.”</p><p>“Sorry Re, I’m abandoning you.” Lily piped in, equally pissed as her boyfriend.</p><p>“I’d tell you to stay in the pull out, but Marlene and Dorcas are staying tonight.”</p><p>“’Ts okay.” Remus said and then yawned. “I’m tired, but it’s no big deal, I’m used to it.”</p><p>“No, but wait.” Sirius insisted, “You could um… Stay with me if you’d want?” Sirius said and immediately blushed deeply, “I mean, I um, I have a double bed, you could… stay if you’d want, yeah.”</p><p>Remus felt himself heat up. Was Sirius flirting with him? Not that he had anything against a fun night but, well- he probably wasn’t flirting with him, anyway; he was probably just being nice. And even if he was, they were gonna be in a <em>band</em> together, for fuck’s sake, he couldn’t go fucking his frontman at first chance!</p><p>“I, um…” Remus thought about the two tubes he had to take back home. “Thanks Sirius, that’s very nice of you, but… I’ve got a morning shift tomorrow morning and I really should go home and all that...”</p><p>“Oh! Yeah, yeah, totally understandable, mate!” Sirius said in a rush.</p><p>“Thanks, though.” Remus added, feeling himself blush again.</p><p>“Pas de quoi.”</p><p>There it was, the same smile from before; all tender and vulnerable.</p><p>That night, once Remus got to the flat, he dreamed of bright colours and ashtrays and cigarettes.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you so much for reading!<br/>About Sirius’ performances! Here are some references of what I think he’d be into, if you're interested :)</p><p>Enter Achilles – DV8 physical theatre<br/>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OoTOxUEQezs</p><p>Traces – Wim Vandekaybus<br/>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0AWOoiIbNMs</p><p>And the trailer of the documentary/movie Remus talks about, PINA (2011)<br/>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CNuQVS7q7-A</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Fenrir Greyback</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Greyback is introduced and some things are discussed. <br/>Be warned for there's an unhealthy, big age-gap relationship portrayed in this chapter. Nothing explicit.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The weekend passed by quickly between his shifts at the library and catching up on his uni work. He’d been working hard and felt quite tired, but revitalised after the meeting at the Marauders’ flat. He hadn’t stopped thinking about all these amazing people, their free-spirited nature. He wanted to see them again, to spend more time with them and found himself trying on new bass lines thinking about the band, looking forward to their first rehearsal.</p>
<p>Nevertheless, one other thought had been bothering him a lot lately, making him feel jumpy and anxious: he had to tell Greyback about the band. Remus had been procrastinating, not really wanting to face the situation, but as his rehearsal with Dark Forest drew nearer and his anxiety got stronger, he made himself get a grip on the situation and texted Greyback,</p>
<p>
  <em>Fen, I’m popping up at yours Tuesday before rehearsal. That ok?</em>
</p>
<p>Remus’ stomach twisted in knots when he’d read his answer a couple of hours later,</p>
<p>
  <em>Sure, cub. We’ll have some fun, eh?</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>* * *</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Remus had grown up in his family’s mountain hut in Northern Wales, with his parents Hope and Lyall. The pair had fallen in love and discovered this old dilapidated hut in Snowdonia, Northern Wales, and decided to repair it; making it a proper hut. They were only in their twenties when they left the city life and made it their home, having Remus a couple of years later.</p>
<p>He grew up in a home with constant visitors; there were always at least a couple of travellers staying overnight, sometimes it was crowded with huge groups of about twenty people staying for a few days. Remus would show them to their room and make the beds, and when he was older, he’d help his mum at the kitchen, cooking enormous amounts of food.</p>
<p>Even if it was always busy and packed, it got lonely there. Surely there were the casuals; different people that visited the hut several times a year and that the Lupin family were close to, but most of the time Remus’ house was full of strangers. This is how Remus developed a love for literature from a very young age. If he wasn’t out wandering around in the woods or helping his parents with the hut, he was reading.</p>
<p>Since they lived quite far away from the nearest village, Remus was home-schooled until he was thirteen, so he’d never really had many friends, just the hut’s regulars.</p>
<p>Remus was twelve the first time Fenrir Greyback came to the hut; he would always remember. He came in on a winter afternoon; a time of the year when they didn’t have many customers because of the hard weather conditions. He was twenty-four at the time, Remus remembered, and he’d looked so <em>mature</em> and <em>cool</em> to Remus. He was broad and tall and looked though and weather-beaten. He told the Lupins he travelled and hiked by himself; been doing so for ten years now, whenever he wasn’t studying or working. Remus had thought it was impressive at the time.</p>
<p>That first time, Fenrir had stayed five days at the hut. He left early in the mornings and came back in the afternoon, completely exhausted, had dinner with the Lupins, drank whiskey and played cards with them, and then went to sleep. Remus looked up to him, he desperately wanted to know all of his adventures, to <em>go with him.</em> On the fifth day, he left, and Remus was convinced he wasn’t going to see him ever again. However, when summer came, Greyback returned.</p>
<p>It was different this time. He didn’t keep to himself that much, but still kept that mysterious and fascinating thing about him. Still went on day-long hikes, but when he came back in the afternoon, he’d spent time with Remus by the lake, where he’d tell him his stories and Remus would listen dumbfounded. He stayed one week this time, and on his last day, Remus had asked him if he could come along with him for the day. <em>“Sorry, cub,”</em> he’d said, <em>“I’m a lone wolf.” </em>That evening, he didn’t come back.</p>
<p>In Remus’ fifteenth summer, Greyback unexpectedly came back. Remus had gotten older over the past two years; he’d grown quite a lot, almost reaching Fenrir’s height, his face had gotten sharper, he’d let his tawny curls grow, and they now fell into his forehead. He wasn’t a little boy anymore, and Greyback seemed to notice. That summer they spent plenty of time together; Fenrir taught him how to play guitar, Remus talked to him about the books he’d been reading and they discussed philosophy and politics and grown-up stuff. In the afternoons, they’d go up to the lake and drink beer. He left after two weeks this time, but promised Remus to come back.</p>
<p>Remus was sixteen and Fenrir twenty-eight by the next summer. One morning, he came to Remus’ room and told him if he wanted to go hike. <em>“I thought you were a lone wolf.” </em>he’d replied sarcastically, <em>“Guess I need my pack mate.” </em>Greyback had smirked. They hiked all morning, walking the mountains Remus knew like the palm of his hand and got to the mountain’s top by midday. They rested there in companionable silence, full of adrenaline, staring at the beautiful view. Remus had never felt so alive. He felt like he’d been chosen, like <em>Greyback</em> had chosen <em>him.</em> His pack mate. His mate.</p>
<p>That night, when they got back, fully exhausted but with adrenaline still running through their bodies, they got drunk on whiskey and mead. Well into the night, they drunkenly stumbled to Greyback’s room giggling. Remus sat on his bed and Greyback had stared at him, eyes full of desire, <em>“You’re mine, aren’t you, cub?”</em> he’d asked, and Remus had nodded, <em>“I’m your mate.”</em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>* * *</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Remus climbed the stairs to Fenrir’s flat. When he reached the floor, he found the door was already open, so he let himself in; heart hammering in his chest. He heard a sound in the kitchen and followed it.</p>
<p>“Hello, cub.” Fenrir smirked up at him from the kitchen counter, opening a beer can. “Want one?”</p>
<p>“Sure.” Remus agreed, thinking it might as well help him gather some much-needed courage.</p>
<p>“Cheers,” Greyback said, passing him a can and clinking it with his. He took a sip and looked up at Remus again, eyes dark and mysterious. “We’re celebrating.”</p>
<p>“Are we?” Remus raised his eyebrows sceptically.</p>
<p>Greyback looked him up and down, a self-satisfied look on his face.</p>
<p>“We’re playing The Underworld.”</p>
<p>Remus stared at him in confusion, shocked. The <em>Underworld?</em> Greyback was shaking him by the shoulders fiercely, smiling widely.</p>
<p>“We’re playing The Underworld.” Remus muttered slowly, processing.</p>
<p>“We’re playing the fucking Underworld!” Fenrir howled wildly and Remus couldn’t help but grin, a warm happy feeling spreading through his chest.</p>
<p>“When?” He asked dumbfounded,</p>
<p>“21st May.”</p>
<p>“Woah.” Remus breathed.</p>
<p>The Underworld was something <em>big.</em> It was not the small venues they used to go to, not the grungy pubs. It was The Underworld. It meant people were gonna be there to see <em>them.</em> If they did The Underworld, they were definitely kicking off. Remus had been dreaming about this since he was sixteen and got his hands on his first bass, Remus wanted this. He felt alive on stage, he felt alive whenever he played, his fingers moving along to the beat, the low notes resonating inside his body.</p>
<p>“We’re <em>doing it.</em>” He said astonished, a wide grin plastered across his face.</p>
<p>With the thrill of the upcoming gig in the air, they drank their beers talking about it and how they would have to rehearse more, make some changes. They discussed a very hypothetical setlist and Remus took the bass out of its case and tried on a few lines explaining how they should change the rhythm of some of their songs.</p>
<p>It was the most at ease Remus had felt around Fenrir for a long time. It almost felt like they could be <em>friends</em> again, like Remus could forgive him, forget it all; start all over and just be two bandmates, with a shared passion for music and a desire to perform.</p>
<p>Over their third beer, Fenrir stopped and looked at Remus in an all-too-familiar gaze,</p>
<p>“Well, cub, I think it’s about time we have some fun, innit?”</p>
<p>Remus’ blood froze. Greyback raised an eyebrow at him,</p>
<p>“What, don’t tell me you actually don’t want it Lupin.”</p>
<p>Remus took a hard swallow. His heart was starting to speed up, and he felt dread stir at the pit of his stomach.</p>
<p>“Come on, it’s been a long time. We’ll have fun.” He got up from his chair and walked over to Remus. Next thing he knew, Fenrir’s hard hands were on his thighs, his wild gaze meeting his eyes.</p>
<p>Remus swallowed again. <em>Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.</em></p>
<p>“No.” He breathed.</p>
<p>Fenrir’s eyebrows shot up, “No?”</p>
<p>Remus shook his head fervently, “No.”</p>
<p>Fenrir grunted; a deep guttural sound.</p>
<p>“You can’t do this to me, Lupin.” He straightened up, moving his hands away from Remus’ thighs to his own stiff dick. He squeezed it and groaned in frustration, not breaking eye-contact with Remus.</p>
<p>Remus looked away and mumbled, “I’m not doing anything.”</p>
<p>Fenrir gave a hard, humourless laugh at that,</p>
<p>“You’re fucking denying me what is mine.”</p>
<p>“Fenrir.” Remus warned, meeting his eyes again.</p>
<p>They stared at each other for a few long seconds. Finally, Greyback looked away and grabbed his beer angrily, taking a long swig.</p>
<p>“Why.” He asked, voice hard.</p>
<p>“Fen…”</p>
<p>“You’ve been fucking with me since you were sixteen and now you don’t want to anymore? What’s gotten into you Lupin?” He spat angrily; eyes wild.</p>
<p>Remus looked at him and seriously considered just giving him a blowjob, just so he could get himself away from the situation. He <em>hated </em>when Greyback got angry. He <em>hated</em> how he made him feel small and weak; like he was sixteen again.</p>
<p>“You can’t expect me to want to have sex with you, Fenrir.” He answered, his words hard on his tongue.</p>
<p>There was a long moment of silence; Fenrir stared at the beer can clutched tightly in his hand.</p>
<p>“We should get going to rehearsal.” He offered quietly. Fenrir gave a single, sharp nod,</p>
<p>“Yeah. Yeah, we should.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>* * *</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rehearsal that day was a very strange mix of emotions. The tension between him and Greyback didn’t seem to go away. Even if he’d relaxed since their argument in the flat, Fenrir was still on edge, shouting angrily whenever someone messed up a little, and spitting angry words into his mic. On the other hand, the band was full of adrenaline, thrilled with the news of them playing in The Underworld, and giving their all on the rehearsal. This combined with Fen’s anger mixed perfectly to make probably the best rehearsal they’d ever had; they sounded raw and angry and <em>alive. </em>Every nerve in Remus’ body was lit with an electrifying sensation.</p>
<p>They were tidying up, getting ready to leave, while discussing rehearsing schedules when Remus remembered. He had to tell them about the band. The <em>other</em> band. And he hadn’t told Greyback before. This wasn’t going to be pretty.</p>
<p>“Next Saturday?” Scabior, the guitarist, asked.</p>
<p>Remus breathed in,</p>
<p>“I can’t.” He mumbled, picking up his pedal, just to busy his hands with something.</p>
<p>“Why not?” Greyback asked with an angry undertone to his words.</p>
<p>Remus straightened up and looked him straight in the eyes, gathering all his courage.</p>
<p>“I have rehearsal.”</p>
<p>Karkaroff looked up from where he was rearranging his drums. “What?”</p>
<p>Remus kept his eyes fixed on Greyback’s,</p>
<p>“I’m joining another band.”</p>
<p>Fenrir’s gaze went feral, but he kept himself still, jaw set.</p>
<p>“This is why you came today, huh?” He snarled. He breathed in, angrily, “You need to sort out where your allegiances lie, Lupin.”</p>
<p>“Fenrir, this is something I’m doing for <em>fun. </em>You guys are still my band. We’re playing fucking The Underworld in a few months for fucks sake!”</p>
<p>Fenrir looked him up with a strong gaze,</p>
<p>“I’m just saying, you need to sort out where your allegiances lie.”</p>
<p>Remus thought he’d preferred he’d shouted at him, gotten angry, punched him. It felt like a threat. And part of Remus wanted to run after him like a lost puppy, to tell him he was his, he’d do whatever he wanted. But that was sixteen-year-old Remus, and he was twenty now, and much more mature; he wanted to feel satisfied with himself, he didn’t want to feel guilty. Because Remus <em>could</em> join another band, because he <em>deserved </em>to be happy, and to own his own life, and to do whatever the fuck he wanted. He was not Greyback’s. He was not <em>his. </em>He was not his mate anymore.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Next up the band's first rehearsal! Cute wolfstar moments assured :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Fishnet tights and late-night cigarettes</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Remus attended another Dark Forest rehearsal that week, and even if things were tense, he remained focused on his job and made it through, not without some spiteful remarks from Greyback. He tried not to think too much about it. He knew his relationship with Fenrir was changing, but he couldn’t let it affect the band; not now that they were kicking off.</p>
<p>The rest of the week was much better. He and Lily had been working on stuff for the band. They’d made a group chat and a collaborative playlist on Spotify and had decided on three songs they could cover to try and see how they sounded together and where they wanted to go. Him and Lily had been practicing together whenever the two of them were at home, playing along to the recorded versions of the song with their instruments. On Wednesday, Lily showed him a little melody and lyrics she’d come up with and he worked on a bassline to go along with her guitar.</p>
<p>Remus was excited and couldn’t wait for Saturday to come. He actually found himself enjoying the idea of this band, so different from Dark Forest’s moody and angry tunes. This was different. It was fun and lame and just <em>fuck-it-all.</em> Remus loved it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>* * *</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Alright, Lupin?” James grinned from behind the wheel of his car.</p>
<p>“Wotcher James.” Remus greeted, walking over.</p>
<p>The back door opened and Sirius emerged, hair tied up in a bun this time.</p>
<p>“Here, let me help.” He said, reaching over and taking Remus’ and Lily’s amps and carrying them to the boot.</p>
<p>“Always the gentleman.” Lily remarked with a teasing tone.</p>
<p>Saturday had come and James had offered to drive them all to Dorcas’ house on Elstree, where they’d be rehearsing and staying the night. They had the house all to themselves for the weekend, since Dorcas’ parents and younger brother were away for one of his games of hockey, and James and Marlene were coming too, for <em>“emotional support”.</em></p>
<p>Remus opened the car door and sat inside, carefully positioning his bass in between his legs.</p>
<p>“Why, hello Marlene.” He laughed at a very extravagant-looking Marlene; with hair done in a style similar to Amy Winehouse’s, bright red lips, perfectly-done winged eyeliner, and tight leopard print miniskirt.</p>
<p>“Shut up Lupin, I’m trying to flirt here!” She said flicking her hair in an exaggerated manner.</p>
<p>Sirius climbed in then, sitting next to her, on the right side of the back of the car with Lily’s guitar between his legs. Remus took in his own smear of eyeliner and his big black clapped-out leather jacket and felt himself blush slightly.</p>
<p>Unfortunately, Marlene seemed to notice,</p>
<p>“Not with <em>you,</em> Remus!” She cackled, “I’m a raging homosexual.”</p>
<p>Remus felt his blush deepen, “Oh, no, no” He stuttered, “I didn’t—”</p>
<p>“It’s alright, love,” She said, touching his arm comfortingly, still smirking, “Guess it means I <em>do</em> look good.”</p>
<p>Remus relaxed and laughed along, “So who’re you trying to impress then, Miss Amy Winehouse?”</p>
<p>They all laughed along at this and it was Marlene’s turn to blush, “You arse!”</p>
<p>“Miss Amy Winehouse is desperately trying to get into Miss Dorcas’ pants.” Sirius informed with a cheeky smile.</p>
<p>“Oooh I <em>see.</em> Want her to bang you like she bangs those drums?” Remus raised his eyebrows multiple times in a ridiculous way.</p>
<p>Marlene blushed a vivid red and they all erupted in laughter,</p>
<p>“It’s too bad, it’s too bad!” James whined clutching his stomach with tears prickling his eyes.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>* * *</p>
<p> </p>
<p>James drove and they laughed and played music, commenting on the sounds they liked from one song or another, and the dumb, crazy things they needed to do in their concerts. After about forty minutes, James pulled over to Dorcas’ small yard. She lived in a semi-detached small house in a beautiful small residential area. James had just stopped the engine when the front door flew open and she came out with a wide grin, hair in a colourful headband and wearing a windbreaker jacket.</p>
<p>“Ugh she looks so pretty lord help me.” Marlene grunted.</p>
<p>Sirius laughed and jabed her in the ribs, “Go get her, Miss Winehouse.”</p>
<p>They unpacked the lid, taking all the gear straight to Dorcas’ garage. It was big enough, with sockets to plug the amps in and a big drumkit; it was perfect.</p>
<p>“I brought in this old sofa mum was going to throw away a few months ago, glad to see it’s finally going to be used.” Dorcas smiled, sitting down in a small old leather couch.</p>
<p>“It’s perfect!” Lily smiled brightly, already plugging her amp in and taking out her electric guitar.</p>
<p>“We’re starting straight away?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, go on I’m excited! Rem and I have been practicing fucking Jean Genie nonstop I <em>need</em> to hear how it sounds with all of us together.”</p>
<p>“Right, do I get my heels on? I think I need my heels, I’m a fucking Rockstar I have to feel my fantasy.” Sirius rambled to himself rummaging through his bag.</p>
<p>“Okay what else do we need? Sirius you’ve got Marls' mike, right?” Dorcas was asking looking around, “You two need anything else?”</p>
<p>Remus shook his head and Lily murmured a “no”.</p>
<p>“Good. Sirius you wanna go inside to change or you good?”</p>
<p>“Nah, I’m good.” He said and flashed her a smile, immediately unbuttoning his jeans and lowering them to reveal a pair of fishnet tights. Marlene immediately burst out laughing,</p>
<p>“Oh <em>God,</em> and you have the audacity to go calling <em>me</em> Amy Winehouse? Please tell me you’ve got your pvc mini skirt!”</p>
<p>Sirius smirked and took one out of his bag, followed by a pair of heels and a see-through crop top.</p>
<p>“Fucking hell, Black, you’re the gayest thing I’ve ever seen!” Marlene laughed, shaking her head.</p>
<p>“Shut up I’m gonna be a Rockstar.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>* * *</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Okay, we’ve all got them, right? What are we starting for?” Dorcas asked from her stool behind the drums.</p>
<p>“Like a Bad Girl Should?” Suggested Sirius, who was walking around on his high heels like it was nothing. </p>
<p>“I like how you think, Black.” Smirked Lily.</p>
<p>“Right, ready? I mark the rhythm and you start Lily, okay? Then after the opening riff Remus and I join you and then Sirius comes in. Yeah?” Dorcas looked at them all and waited for their nods of affirmation, “Alright. One, two, one, two, three, four!”</p>
<p>Lily started playing the short riff and then Dorcas and Remus were joining her in sync. Remus looked at Dorcas, and admired how effortlessly she played; like she'd been doing it her entire life- which she probably had. </p>
<p>The first two introductory bars were over quickly and then Sirius started singing,</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>I love your ass for bad or worse</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>I love your nasty way you curse</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>When you sit down, it’s wild how you sit</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Grind your heel in the ground,</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>The groovy way you spit.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>His voice was nice, nothing outstanding; it sounded good, velvety and playful. But what made Sirius’ performance impressive, was his stage presence. Even in the small garage and with only James and Marlene as small audience, he managed to fill the room with his magnetism, walking around on his heels, theatrically exaggerating his words and moving in a suggestive way.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>Oh, you look good</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Oh, you smell good</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Oh, you taste good</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Like a bad girl should</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Remus found himself looking up from his bass to look at him. He was entranced. Sirius had been born to be on a stage, he <em>belonged</em> there.</p>
<p>When they finished the song James and Marlene cheered animatedly and Sirius bowed.</p>
<p>“Lily you’re the hottest Rockstar I’ve ever seen!”</p>
<p>“Hey that was good!” Dorcas said from behind her drums, “Lupin, may your groovy hands be blessed, fucking <em>hell.</em>”</p>
<p>Remus smiled at Dorcas’ compliment, “All thanks to you, you fucking <em>genius</em>.”</p>
<p>“Bummer, I didn’t get to see you play, I was too invested in my performance.” Sirius said, sitting in the couch arm.</p>
<p>“Tell me about it, you were living your fantasy, mate.” Remus smiled at him, “Best fucking frontman we could get; what a show.”</p>
<p>Sirius smiled and winked at him. Remus prayed to all gods Sirius couldn’t see him blush.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The rest of the rehearsal went by easily; they played the songs they’d practiced and they sounded pretty good together. They tried some stuff for the cover of Poker Face they were working on, discussed some sounds and riffs, Lily showed them the song she’d written and Dorcas added the drums to it. In the sofa, Marlene had taken out her sketchbook and had started drawing designs of clothes she was planning to do for the band. Then, after a few hours, James brought beers in, and one thing led to another so they packed the gear up and left the garage to go inside the house.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>* * *</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Re, want another?” Lily asked holding a beer up,</p>
<p>“Yeah, cheers.” He answered, taking a bite of the Mediterranean pizza they’d ordered. Lily came over with a few beers and sat next to him on the sofa.</p>
<p>“By the way,” James said, “Congrats on the Underworld gig, Remus! Lils told me.”</p>
<p>Marlene jumped in, “You’re playing in The Underworld?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, in May, with my band. Like- my other band.”</p>
<p>“That’s sick! What are you guys called?”</p>
<p>“Um, Dark Forest.” He smiled sheepishly,</p>
<p>“Do you have any gigs soon?”</p>
<p>“Uh, yeah, twelfth February’s the closest.”</p>
<p>“Oooh we have to go! What do you guys play?”</p>
<p>“Metal, mostly.”</p>
<p>“You’re in a <em>metal</em> band?” Sirius piped in, looking at him agape.</p>
<p>Remus laughed lightly and rubbed his head, “Yeah.”</p>
<p>Sirius shook his head, "Woah. Really wasn't expecting that one."</p>
<p>Thankfully, they got into another conversation and Dark Forest was forgotten. He didn’t really fancy thinking about them right now. Greyback was a part of his life, and this was another; he was very determined to keep them separated.</p>
<p>They finished the pizzas and soon enough they were blasting music and doing Tequila shots, getting pretty pissed. Marlene lip-synched to Amy Winehouse, they danced to ABBA and James lost his glasses the impressive amount of <em>five</em> times.</p>
<p>Remus had a few beers and some gin, and had been nicely drunk through the night. The buzz helped him loosen up and he’d been joking and giggling with everyone, pairing up with Lily to explain some of their best anecdotes and then listening to some of James and Sirius’. It felt great, almost surreal how everyone was so clam and hyped at the same time, how they respected each other and listened. He felt extremely comfortable, like he fitted in, like he’d known them for a long time.</p>
<p>As time drew on to the wee hours of the night, Marlene and Dorcas headed to Dorcas’ bedroom, and after a while James and Lily followed. Wanting to sober up a bit before going to sleep, Sirius and Remus picked up a few blankets and sat themselves in a couple of plastic chairs in Dorcas’ backyard, smoking serenely.</p>
<p>“How did you get into art?” Remus asked, taking a pull of his cigarette.</p>
<p>Sirius looked at him with steely grey eyes and a small smile playing on his lips.</p>
<p>“It’s kind of a long story.”</p>
<p>Remus just stared at him and raised an eyebrow. Sirius cackled,</p>
<p>“Alright, alright um…”</p>
<p>“You don’t have to if you don’t want to.” Remus started, raising his hands in surrender,</p>
<p>“No, no. It’s just- Well, I… I come from a very posh, aristocratic family; old money, big status, you know the type.”</p>
<p>“Woah.” Remus responded. He really wasn’t expecting this from Sirius. He knew he’d have to have money; he’d gone to a posh school after all, but he always acted so rebellious it felt almost impossible to imagine him in a big house wearing dress suits, it just didn't fit.</p>
<p>“Yeah, I know.” Sirius replied timidly, playing with his hair, “Thing is I got taught art and music and <em>ballet</em> from a very young age.” He said and Remus realised how he pronounced the latter in a French accent, which he found pretty endearing. “And it was hard because I loved it and hated it at the same time. It was all so <em>strict</em> and <em>rigid;</em> it left no place to the imagination, to freedom. Everything had to be in a specific, concrete way.”</p>
<p>Remus nodded, listening intently.</p>
<p>“And then I went to Hogwarts -our boarding school- and everything was much more flexible and I, well, I didn’t have my mother’s eye on me all the time, so I got into the art course and discovered other ways of making art; it was quite freeing.” Sirius smiled, rolling another cigarette, “I was mostly doing plastic and visual arts at the time, like the ashtrays.” He added, flashing Remus a smile, reminding him of the colourful small plates in his flat, “But then at sixteen, I ran away from home and I-”</p>
<p>“I’m sorry, what?” Remus blinked, stunned.</p>
<p>Sirius barked out a laugh and shook his head, “Wow, of course, you don’t know.”</p>
<p>“I… No?” He said, eyes wide.</p>
<p>“Well, it’s… c’est difficile à expliquer.” He cleared his throat and tucked the blanket closer to him, “Long story short, I never really fit in with my family and they… didn’t accept how I was. Who I am.” Sirius explained, fidgeting with the hem of the blanket.</p>
<p>“Oh.” Remus breathed. This whole rebelious side was making much more sense now.</p>
<p>“It’s okay. This is why at sixteen I left home and went to live with James and his parents; they’re like my second family.” He smiled fondly, “And then I, well, I suddenly had all those opportunities, I was finally <em>free,</em> and I went a bit crazy.” He chuckled, and took a drag of his cigarette.</p>
<p>“A bit crazy?” Remus questioned, raising a curious eyebrow.</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Sirius laughed, “I met loads of people- like weird, artistic pals and… well, it was my rebellious era. Loads of experimentation, in every possible way. That’s when I got into performing arts and contemporary dance.”</p>
<p>“You dance too?”</p>
<p>“Mhm. After all those years doing ballet, it was pretty easy to pick up. And freeing mostly.”</p>
<p>“You’re a one-man show, Black.” Remus said, shaking his head.</p>
<p>“What do you mean?” Sirius ginned at him, amused.</p>
<p>“You do <em>everything.</em>”</p>
<p>Sirius tsked, “I don’t do <em>everything</em>.”</p>
<p>“Well, <em>almost</em> everything.” Remus countered, putting down his cigarette.</p>
<p>Sirius snorted and shoved his arm playfully, “And what about you, huh?”</p>
<p>Remus raised his eyebrows, “Me?”</p>
<p>“Yes, you. I hardly know anything about you.”</p>
<p>“Not much to know.” Remus shrugged.</p>
<p>“Okay then, I’ll ask.” Sirius smirked and Remus rolled his eyes, “You’re Welsh?”</p>
<p>He blinked, caught off-guard, “How’d you know?”</p>
<p>“Oh, come on, as if you didn’t have a stupidly endearing Welsh accent.” Sirius said and Remus felt his heart flutter.</p>
<p>“Yeah, well, says you with your little French words.” Remus countered, grinning smugly.</p>
<p>“Whatever.” Sirius rolled his eyes dramatically, “So? You’re Welsh.”</p>
<p>“Ie.” Remus replied in the language, “Kinda.”</p>
<p>“Kinda?”</p>
<p>“Um, it’s a long story.” Remus chuckled burrying himself in the blanket.</p>
<p>“Mine was too.” Sirius smirked, lighting another cigarette.</p>
<p>Remus snorted and shook his head, “You’re irritating.”</p>
<p>“Oi!” Sirius kicked him in the shin and Remus laughed.</p>
<p>“<em>Yes,</em> I’m Welsh I guess, but my parents aren’t.” He explained, “They moved to Snowdonia in their twenties, in a mountain hut they rebuild and had me. I was raised there.”</p>
<p>“<em>What?</em> ” Sirius stared at him, wide-eyed. “You were raised in a <em>mountain hut?</em> ”</p>
<p>“Mhm,” Remus smiled, “In the middle of nowhere.”</p>
<p>“Woah.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, well, at least I don't come from an aristocratic family!”</p>
<p>Sirius snorted and bit his lip. Remus looked at him in the faint moonlight and reached over to take his cigarette and smoked. Sirius’ eyes met his.</p>
<p>“How’s it like? In the hut.”</p>
<p>“Quiet, mostly. And busy, too.” He explained, “Sometimes it’s full of strangers, sometimes it’s just us. But I like it there.”</p>
<p>Sirius smiled at him, that quiet, sincere smile and Remus couldn’t help smiling back.</p>
<p>They finished their cigarettes in companionable silence and by the time they had, the sky was starting to light up.</p>
<p>“We’d better go to sleep.” Sirius yawned, getting up from the chair and taking the blanket with him.</p>
<p>“Yeah, we’ll be dead tomorrow.” He said and Sirius laughed lightly.</p>
<p>“Um, I think there’s Dorcas’ brother's bed left.” Sirius started, “You wanna-”</p>
<p>“It’s okay. I’ll sleep in the sofa; you take the bed.”</p>
<p>“You sure? You’re longer than me.”</p>
<p>“It’s fine.” Remus shrugged.</p>
<p>“D’accord.” He smiled tiredly, “G’night.”</p>
<p>“Night.”</p>
<p>He smiled back and watched as Sirius climbed upstairs, enveloped by the blanket, his hair falling in very soft-looking waves. Once he was out of sight, he put his hands in his face and groaned softly. He was <em>not</em> getting a crush on his lead singer.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Really late update because I've been extremely busy and totally forgot, but here it is!</p>
<p>I have a pretty messy playlist about what I think this bunch of idiots would play, maybe I'll make it decent and share it if you'd be interested. :)</p>
<p>Also- c'est difficile à expliquer means it's hard to explain in French.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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